Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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