Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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