You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
