he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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