Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
