I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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