So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize