woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just found puke in my bra..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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