She is in my trunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
