he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
