Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I just put wine in my tea
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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