I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize