she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
