You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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