Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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