Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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