You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
