Will you blow on my dice?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
