well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize