You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
