why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
