its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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