i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
