New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
