I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
