better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize