its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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