I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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