i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
