When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
