I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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