please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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