i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
