hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
