i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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