Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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