he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
