wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize