If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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