so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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