I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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