i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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