i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
