Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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