I just pynch a tree in the face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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