I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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