And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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