So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
