My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
