so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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