..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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