He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
