just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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